The pair of Coupes were then stored for some 30 years. Their glorious magnesium-alloy bodies being attached to spidery aluminium body frames by hundreds of ground-flat rivets, age-fracture cracking afflicted both bodies. ‘Red’ seems to have suffered worse. In 1987 both doors had to be re-skinned, while its broken side windows and cracked windscreen had to be replaced.
I slither back in — clunk-click, furl the gullwing doors — “OK” calls Gert, and I restart the sound machine. Back out onto the Retro route, bound for Siena and beyond. As ‘Red’ warmed through, drum brakes, dampers, tyres (and driver) all warmed up and I could appreciate what a fabulous Mille Miglia car her open roadster sisters must have been. The view forward includes surprisingly little bonnet, though the roll and swoop of the multi-curved panelling provides the classic perspective, with the injection intake trunk forming high ground to the right. Ducking down into a winding essbend I get a sense of how the greats — Moss, Fangio, Kling, Herrmann — could have placed the car. Fangio always maintained he couldn’t place a sports car or Formula 1 streamliner as precisely as he could the open-wheelers. Nah — c’mon Juan, what’s your problem? I found the front end grip utterly reassuring. And then Gordon Wilkins wrote “…the Daimler-Benz engineers have produced a car which has almost unbelievable traction and an amazing disinclination to spin its wheels no matter how vigorously the throttle is used…”. And flooring the throttle just powers the tail round to suit. Moss told me how the SLR looks big in photographs, smaller in the metal and feels smaller still from the driver’s seat. Spot on. Given half a chance I’d have loved to press it on the twists of the Radicofani and Futa Passes, but as far as I drove that day it felt just tailor-made to do real racing damage on real roads.
“With such fantastic acceleration, overtaking is possible where one would never normally dream of it”
Again it’s hard to improve on Gordon’s 1956 description: “With such fantastic acceleration on tap, overtaking is possible on short stretches of road where one would never normally dream of it. A quick snatch to pull the gearlever into second, a quick flick on the steering wheel, and the car ahead is overtaken.., where vision permits the car will go rocketing past six or eight others, roaring up to 75mph in second before slowing to a crawl under the action of its fabulous brakes…”. Once warmed through and with the booster awakened they are good too.
Then there’s a grand entry to be made into the mediaeval central square at Siena. The massed crowds there have had a diet of BMW 328s, pre-war rumblies and various adenoidal Italian etceterini with flatulent Fiat power. The occasional serious Ferrari has raised a cheer, but then they must have heard something approaching through the old city’s canyoned streets which absolutely raised the roof.
Now, it’s hard not to enjoy a huge helping of Olympic free-style posing, but to conduct ‘The Uhlenhaut Coupe’ into a Mille Miglia-primed Siena just about takes the biscuit. Yet it’s embarrassing, too; as if I’ve pulled the most gorgeous girl, taken her to a sophisticated dinner and only then discovered how outrageously noisy she can be. In the tight, undulating streets and stop-start traffic, I daren’t slip ‘Red’s clutch. I can only select neutral, toe the brakes, maintain the revs — WHAAAMMM-BLAAAMMM!!! — and wince at the echoes. It’s as if my drop-dead gorgeous girl has studied the Michelin three-star Quenelle de Brochet set before her and bawled at the maitre d’hotel “Oy, gar-kon — Tomater Ketchup perlease!”. Round another corner, again we stop on an up-slope — neutral, brakes, “WHAAMMM-BLAAMMM!” Oh Gawd, now my date has just demanded a side order of pickled onions… and a Bacardi and Red Bull. This beauty is really feisty — a true-born Racer…
And my oh my, what a drive. I have always adored the hard, crisply-defined rap and crackle of a real works racing engine, and when it’s as throaty and full-bodied as the 300 SLR’s the din is an experience to savour. After a memorable run in Uhlenhaut’s last SLR Coupe my brain’s still buzzing. Believe me, the legend of the world’s most valuable race-bred GT car does not in any way exaggerate. As I said to the Editor when he telephoned upon my return home… “Eh? — sorry, can’t hear a word”. That’s the way it was, after a few hours with such an unutterably ravishing — yet embarrassing-to-be-with — total beauty.